I've never been a partier, but as a fan and viewer of copious amounts of Seth Rogen movies, I know that "pre-gaming" is getting ready for a party before you go...usually by consuming alcohol before you consume more of it. There will be no alcohol consumption for this lady but I did decide to get a jump start on some of my goals.
Recently, Camp Gladiator was having a sale for one day only where their camp was--wait for it--EIGHT. DOLLARS. How could I pass up that price?! I'm a little scared about doing a boot camp again, though. My knees are a little more fragile since I've gained so much and have had a somewhat sedentary job for the past few years. The instructors seem really cool and I'm super excited to start. There are TONS of locations in Austin, which is helpful. I chose the one near my husband's work so if I have a near-death experience, he's close by.
Swimming has never come naturally to me. I remember being in swim classes with my mom when I was very little and the water was only two feet high. Even with her permed head in the distance, I was terrified. When I got older, at the same rec center (Rosemeade represent!), I took swimming classes and sucked horribly. I naturally just kind of sink.
My in-law's have a fantastic pool that we swim in occasionally when we go over there. I've gotten better over the years with more focus and practice. Hubs and I would have races to see who could swim fastest. Usually it was him. Ok, like, 99.9% of the time it was him. But he's tall.
Tonight I decided to start swimming again. My sister suggested we go swimming the few times she's been in Texas this summer and I'll be honest--swimming makes me tired. I'm also embarrassed by my crappy swimming and her being much more fit than me (side note: this is very hard for me to confess, but I am trying to grow as a person, right?). I just never had it in me to go swimming around anyone.
Our apartment complex has a pretty nice, shallow pool right next to our building. This summer it has been inundated with gaggles of children and drunk people but since school started, its been much calmer. I got my bikini on (yep, you read that right), kissed my hubby goodbye and let him know where I was going, and marched down our three flights of stairs towards the pool.
I noticed a family swimming, but it was fine. The dad was trying to teach these two little kids to swim with their boogie board things. I used to love mine. The mom was very friendly and helped me get into the gate...which was really confusing.
After setting down my towel, I debated whether or not to take off the clothes over my suit. There were little kids, after all, and why should they be subject to my hideous form? I took a deep breath, told myself that I have every right to be there too, and they ARE kids. They need to see people that are different than them.
Off came my glasses, and I stepped into the pool. It was nice and comfortable but being blind in there isn't fun. Now I know why Arthur wore his glasses while swimming all the time!
I completed some laps, not touching thankyouverymuch, did some leg and arm kicks, and ran across the pool, doing a set of 10 pushups when I reached each end. In that time, one of the kids was curious and started swimming to me. I was just doing leg exercises and complimented her by saying what a good swimmer she is. She looked back at her mom, then to me. "Thank you," came from her little voice. "You're a good swimmer, too."
After that sweet exchange, I felt a bit more confident about my abilities in the water. This little kid didn't make a comment about what I looked like. She was just trying to be kind and friendly. How lovely is that?!
I cannot tell you how accomplished I feel for doing something so small. I'm trying to get my act together and am so happy I've found one type of exercise that doesn't hurt my feet or legs and that feels great. I plan on googling for more aqua aerobic exercises.
This is what I call pre-gaming.
Tomorrow, I'm going to catch up on my homework as well as go to an orientation meeting for a really awesome volunteer opportunity. New friends, opportunities, and adventure. Sounds like a great way to start my birthday week!
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Friday, August 26, 2016
Five Days
Hey.
If you know me, you know I can sometimes be dramatic...or something to that affect. Well, I'm trying to change that part of my life. And lots of other parts of my life, too. Through lots of great counseling, anxiety medication, and husband cuddles, I've been able to get through the summer of hell.
You see, my dad was diagnosed with cancer in March 2016. Well, he was told that he may have cancer in February 2014. He pushed his body to the limit, and I can see why. He cares for my mom in ways that are not always the smartest, though he means well.
My mom has dementia, which you might know. In 5 days from now, on my 29th birthday, it will have been 5 years since she had the seizure that changed all our lives forever. I was sure I would lose her and in many ways I have. What I did not know was how much I would lose myself.
I have lost a LOT of myself, and as my next birthday looms just a few days away, I think I need to reevaluate some things.
29 is a scary number.
There's so much riding on it. I have many friends who are far more "successful" than me, who own businesses, have children, and houses. They are successful in the ways I believed that I should have been by now. But you know, dealing with economic crisis as well as (literally) crazy parents will make those things a bit difficult.
That's all the heavy stuff for right now. I promise.
So, when you're clutching on to the last days of 28, wishing you had kept X promise to yourself or maybe not spent sooo much time on Imgur, what do you do?
Create a challenge for yourself, duh!
I've actually been thinking about this for awhile. I like attainable challenges especially since most of the challenges I've been facing have not been necessarily something you can quantify or do the same way every time with the same result. Trust me. Mom basically eats like a toddler--not always like the cute ones, either. She's more of the maybe I'll eat this today or maybe I'll try my damnedest to get you to leave me alone and fetch me a Dr. Pepper. Well, she can't say it in so many words, but I know what's up.
Thirty is a good number. I've got a few days head start, too, as I've been considering the rules for myself. I'm super awful at following rules and I blame the Sims. Wait for payday to add a door to your house? Screw that, here's ctrl+shift+c and kaching--instant simoleons!
Uh, anyway. Here is how I think this challenge should play out.
30 goals within one year.
Sure.
These will be boiled down into smaller, less terrifying categories that can be measured. Some of these things I'm already working on but this challenge is a good motivator to finish the projects already.
Here's what I'm thinking:
Category 1: Health
1. Get off high blood pressure medication
2. Control PCOS (oh boy, that's going to be a long ass blog post)
3. Participate in a marathon (note: I did not say run)
4. Find a sport/activity that I like and will actually do
5. Build a good relationship with my body and food
Category 2: Finances
1. Chunk some credit cards
2. Save $1000 (this is way harder than you'd think)
3. Actually follow a freakin' budget
4. Plan for the future/invest
5. Figure out what the hell to do with my car
Category 3: Spiritual
1. Discover what my beliefs truly are (that's probably going to be enough for, like, multiple books)
2. Find a group of similar thinkers/believers
3. Make meditation a practice
4. Something else.
5. Uh, another thing?
Category 4: Emotional
1. Find a therapist in Austin. (I miss you, N!)
2. Implement better coping mechanisms
3. Deal with my family
4. Journal
5. Believe in myself (also really vague...trying to tighten that one up.)
Category 5: Creative
1. Finish documentary
2. Write a short story
3. Submit documentary to a film festival
4. GO TO AN AUDITION
5. Take headshots
6. Create website with writing samples
7. Apply for jobs that might be out of my reach
8. Record a new podcast
9. Network
10. Paint
Creative has the most because that is what I feel has been lacking in my life for so long. Those types of goals are actually attainable, I think, and are ever expanding. I mean, this whole list is, but I ain't worried about it. It's a starting point of self-discovery and its a journey.
I'll work on those other two spiritual goals. Maybe I'll ask the hubs once he's done cursing at the TV (he's playing the Metroid games for GameCube if anyone is wondering).
-c
If you know me, you know I can sometimes be dramatic...or something to that affect. Well, I'm trying to change that part of my life. And lots of other parts of my life, too. Through lots of great counseling, anxiety medication, and husband cuddles, I've been able to get through the summer of hell.
You see, my dad was diagnosed with cancer in March 2016. Well, he was told that he may have cancer in February 2014. He pushed his body to the limit, and I can see why. He cares for my mom in ways that are not always the smartest, though he means well.
My mom has dementia, which you might know. In 5 days from now, on my 29th birthday, it will have been 5 years since she had the seizure that changed all our lives forever. I was sure I would lose her and in many ways I have. What I did not know was how much I would lose myself.
I have lost a LOT of myself, and as my next birthday looms just a few days away, I think I need to reevaluate some things.
29 is a scary number.
There's so much riding on it. I have many friends who are far more "successful" than me, who own businesses, have children, and houses. They are successful in the ways I believed that I should have been by now. But you know, dealing with economic crisis as well as (literally) crazy parents will make those things a bit difficult.
That's all the heavy stuff for right now. I promise.
So, when you're clutching on to the last days of 28, wishing you had kept X promise to yourself or maybe not spent sooo much time on Imgur, what do you do?
Create a challenge for yourself, duh!
I've actually been thinking about this for awhile. I like attainable challenges especially since most of the challenges I've been facing have not been necessarily something you can quantify or do the same way every time with the same result. Trust me. Mom basically eats like a toddler--not always like the cute ones, either. She's more of the maybe I'll eat this today or maybe I'll try my damnedest to get you to leave me alone and fetch me a Dr. Pepper. Well, she can't say it in so many words, but I know what's up.
Thirty is a good number. I've got a few days head start, too, as I've been considering the rules for myself. I'm super awful at following rules and I blame the Sims. Wait for payday to add a door to your house? Screw that, here's ctrl+shift+c and kaching--instant simoleons!
Uh, anyway. Here is how I think this challenge should play out.
30 goals within one year.
Sure.
These will be boiled down into smaller, less terrifying categories that can be measured. Some of these things I'm already working on but this challenge is a good motivator to finish the projects already.
Here's what I'm thinking:
Category 1: Health
1. Get off high blood pressure medication
2. Control PCOS (oh boy, that's going to be a long ass blog post)
3. Participate in a marathon (note: I did not say run)
4. Find a sport/activity that I like and will actually do
5. Build a good relationship with my body and food
Category 2: Finances
1. Chunk some credit cards
2. Save $1000 (this is way harder than you'd think)
3. Actually follow a freakin' budget
4. Plan for the future/invest
5. Figure out what the hell to do with my car
Category 3: Spiritual
1. Discover what my beliefs truly are (that's probably going to be enough for, like, multiple books)
2. Find a group of similar thinkers/believers
3. Make meditation a practice
4. Something else.
5. Uh, another thing?
Category 4: Emotional
1. Find a therapist in Austin. (I miss you, N!)
2. Implement better coping mechanisms
3. Deal with my family
4. Journal
5. Believe in myself (also really vague...trying to tighten that one up.)
Category 5: Creative
1. Finish documentary
2. Write a short story
3. Submit documentary to a film festival
4. GO TO AN AUDITION
5. Take headshots
6. Create website with writing samples
7. Apply for jobs that might be out of my reach
8. Record a new podcast
9. Network
10. Paint
Creative has the most because that is what I feel has been lacking in my life for so long. Those types of goals are actually attainable, I think, and are ever expanding. I mean, this whole list is, but I ain't worried about it. It's a starting point of self-discovery and its a journey.
I'll work on those other two spiritual goals. Maybe I'll ask the hubs once he's done cursing at the TV (he's playing the Metroid games for GameCube if anyone is wondering).
-c
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